Do you sometimes feel insecure when using your own voice? Maybe even when singing alone your mind starts to evaluate it, making statements about what you should or shouldn’t sound like, as if your voice wouldn’t be good enough? As if you wouldn’t be good enough; acceptable and lovable just as you are?
I know this happens to many of us. Because our voice is such an intimate part of us, our blocks and fears tend to come forth when dealing with it. Deep down, this is about our inner child, the childlike, wounded part of our psyche that usually carries a lot of unmet needs and emotional baggage, like the deep fear that we are not the way we “should be” and thus in risk of being rejected. The child within us yearns for acceptance, protection, nurturance, understanding, and support. As pseudo-adults, we often deny or reject these needs within and futilely try to force others into fulfilling them for us. Authentic adulthood, however, always requires us to take the primary responsibility for our inner child’s needs; listening, caring for and loving her/him like a good parent would.
One way to nurture your inner child is by singing to him/her. When a parent sings to his/her child, it is an act of unconditional love. The parent’s voice is an instrument for caring and for the child the most perfect sound there is. There is no judgement involved. What the singer’s voice sounds like (according to our critical mind’s standards) has no relevance for the beauty of that act of love.
What would happen if you sang from this place; expressing unconditional love to your inner child with your own voice, being aware that for this child, your voice is nothing less than the most beautiful sound there is?
I encourage you to give it a try! Meditate for a moment and allow contact with your inner child and his/her needs at the moment. Listen to the needs and acknowledge them. Just let them be, accepting their existence. Maybe even understanding. Then sing a little lullaby for that dear child to embody your love and caring. It can be your favorite lullaby from childhood, or any little melody that feels healing for you, even just a little bit of humming. What you sing exactly is not that important, your intention behind the singing is what matters.
Singing lullabies or other kind of little healing melodies (sometimes called “medicine melodies”) for yourself is about using your own voice’s vibration for self healing. It’s a great way to nurture yourself; a beautiful act of self love.
(Originally published in October 2018)